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Interview People Close to You!

  • Writer: Steve Biermann
    Steve Biermann
  • 5 days ago
  • 3 min read

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The Mirror Others Hold: Why Asking for Honest Feedback About You Unlocks Your True Self


Last week’s challenge—listing your Role Models and Mentors—how did that feel? Eye-opening, I bet.


This week, we’re turning the lens inward by looking outward. It’s time to interview the people who know you best… about YOU. Yes, it’s awkward. Yes, it’s weird. And yes—it’s one of the fastest paths to self-awareness and True Wealth.



Why Feedback Is Rocket Fuel for Growth


Most of us live inside an echo chamber of self-perception. We think we know our strengths, blind spots, and impact—but data says otherwise.


Relevant Stats on Honest Feedback:


  • Harvard Business Review (Zenger & Folkman): Leaders who rank in the bottom 10% for self-awareness receive 40% lower effectiveness ratings from peers. Those in the top 10% for self-awareness? They’re rated 80% more effective.

  • Journal of Personality and Social Psychology: People are only 15–20% accurate at predicting how others see them. We overestimate positive traits and underestimate flaws.

  • Tasha Eurich’s 10-year study (author, Insight): 95% of people believe they’re self-aware, but only 10–15% actually are. The #1 accelerator? Structured external feedback.

  • Gallup: Employees who receive regular feedback are 3.6x more likely to be engaged and 2.5x more likely to report high well-being.


Bottom line: You can’t fix what you can’t see. And others see what you miss.


Your 4-Step Feedback Interview Challenge


Step 1: Build Your Interview List


In your journal, list 2–3 people per life domain:

  • Personal/Family: Spouse, sibling, parent, cousin

  • Social/Friends: Best friend, long-time confidant

  • Professional: Colleague, boss, direct report, client

Total: 6–9 people. The broader the net, the richer the insight.


Step 2: The Ask (Script Included)

Use this low-pressure opener:

“Hey [Name], I’ve been deep in a life coaching program called LIFEonomics – Mind, Body & Spirit. I’ve got a specific assignment: interview people who know me well… about me. It’ll take 5 minutes, and it’s helping me clarify my life’s purpose. Would you be open to it?”

Pro tip: Frame it as helping you, not judging them. Most will say yes.


Step 3: The Two Magic Questions


Ask exactly this:

  1. “When you think about me or talk about me with others, what are the 3–5 words you use to describe me best? (No more than 5.)”


    Captures your external brand.

  2. “What are 1–3 things about me that other people seem to know… but I don’t seem to know about myself? Please don’t filter for what I want to hear—include what I need to hear. I promise no offense taken.”


    Reveals blind spots and hidden strengths.

Golden Rule: Listen. Don’t defend. Just thank them.


Step 4: Analyze & Highlight


Back in your journal:

  • List every word and insight.

  • Highlight any word used by 2+ people in separate interviews.

  • Create a “Consensus Top 5” list.

Example Output:

Word

# of Mentions

From Whom

“Reliable”

4

Mom, Boss, Best Friend, Colleague

“Overthinks”

3

Sister, Friend, Teammate

“Inspiring”

2

Cousin, Client

This is your external mirror—more accurate than any self-assessment.


What You’ll Discover

  • Hidden Superpowers: “You light up when teaching—didn’t know you noticed.”

  • Blind Spots: “You interrupt when excited—people hesitate to share.”

  • Reputation Gaps: You see yourself as “funny”; others say “intense.”


One client’s breakthrough:


Discovered “calm under pressure” was his #1 descriptor (mentioned by 5 people). He’d always seen himself as “anxious.” That shift? Career pivot into crisis leadership—and a 40% income jump.


Your Challenge This Week

  1. Make the list.

  2. Schedule the chats (coffee, Zoom, text follow-up—whatever works).

  3. Ask, listen, record.

  4. Highlight and synthesize.

Warning: You will squirm. That’s the point.


Final Thought

Self-awareness isn’t a solo sport. The fastest way to Level 3 of Maslow’s Hierarchy—that space of Peace, Passion, and Purpose—is through the unfiltered eyes of those who’ve watched you live.

So go be brave. Ask the scary questions.The version of you on the other side? Unrecognizably free.

See you next week—with your highlights ready to share.

Rob HoldfordLife Coach | Author, LIFEonomicsP.S. Drop your top 3 consensus words in the comments. Let’s crowdsource some truth!

 
 
 

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