Is it just me, or does it feel like the whole world has become easily offended?
Last week's challenge was to focus on ways to reduce the number of decisions that we make each day and thereby reduce unnecessary suffering.
This week, we're continuing our focus on reducing unnecessary suffering that can
distract us from living in the moment and keep us from doing what is truly important to us with the people who are truly important to us.
In our life coaching methodology, we believe one of the most important personal development books perhaps ever written is The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. If you don't already own this book, just hit pause on this video and order it right now. If you already have it, this week is a great time to take it off the shelf and re-read it.
Now, one of The Four Agreements is don't take anything personally. Ruiz explains that nothing other people
do or say is because of us. It’s because of them. All people live life through their unique perspectives in their minds.
Read chapter three in The Four Agreements to get that whole explanation. Unfortunately, taking things personally has become a national obsession. It keeps people with opposing views from being able even to have a civil conversation.
There are three primary ways people attempt to influence each other.
1. Coercion. That’s the attempt to persuade someone to do something by using force or threat of force. Now, it can work, but usually not for very long.
2. Manipulation. This is the practice of persuading someone to do something by using emotions, usually guilt, and often through out-and-out use of misinformation. Now, once again, this can work for a while until the person finds out the truth, and now there's an even bigger problem.
3. Agreement. This is by far the most powerful of the three. This involves an actual conversation, which is impossible when both sides take everything personally. Even if we agree to disagree without taking it personally, at least we have an agreement, and life can move on drama-free.
This week's challenge is to use Lifeonomics’ 3 Rs for better communication, to manage our time and attention, and to resist taking things personally.
When someone attempts to capture your attention, think to yourself, “What am I'm going to do? React? This is usually done very quickly. Respond? Take the time to consider our response and our motives. Or refrain? Just because someone attempts to capture your attention, it doesn't mean you have to give it to them. You can grab your own ears and focus elsewhere.
Remember, what we feed grows. Good luck with the assignment. See you next week.